Some of the emails you send me concern dating at work scenarios and I thought I’ll address this here.
The Wall Street Journal plug in their own Alien: Director Cut Your Heart, Your Job, and Dating a Co-Worker article authored by Yoree Koh and Rachel Feintzeig. Lawyers weight in:
WSJ: ” Mr. Smith [a lawyer with Jackson, Lewis’s Pittsburgh’s office) is recommending that they put strict rules in place barring managers from dating anyone further down in the organization, with firing as a potential consequence. He said every company he makes the recommendation to is following suit.”
What are the rules at megabrands such as Google and Facebook ?
WSJ: “One rule at Facebook and Alphabet’s Google: Employees are only allowed to ask a co-worker out once. If they are turned down, they don’t get to ask again. Ambiguous answers such as “I’m busy” or “I can’t that night” count as a ‘no’, said Heidi Swartz, FB’s global head of employment law. At Facebook, if ‘a potential date involves a person in a more senior position than the other, the date itself doesn’t necessarily need to be disclosed to the HR…But real life is never as cut and dried as the scenarios that appear in sexual-harassment training modules [of course !]…”
The article touches on the so called “love contracts” -in which a couple agree to behave professionally at work and acknowledge they weren’t coerced into the relationships.
We also have University of Toronto professor Jordan B. Peterson who’s got a huge following with young people. Obscure professor ? Not a chance ! Watch carefully the latter part that starts at 5:52.
So what are the rules of dating at work ? As if you couldn’t tell it from the most popular article I wrote last year:
1. You do not date people at work. Period. The Rules. It’s actually one rule, dummy.
If you are serious about your career, and I assume that you are, you do not throw it away and become susceptible to a woman’s whim. Women will hold you ransom five years down the road. I am not a lawyer, but I completely agree with the lawyer’s opinion in the article that would ban managers from dating subalterns. What women are currently doing (and it shows no signs of slowing down): they are getting their meal tickets by gunning down men’s [careers].
If you want a career, you need to make some sacrifices.
2. Go to the HR office and ask: What is their policy on dating. Stay informed. Ignorance is no excuse.
3. If and when women proposition you, stand firm, stand clear. Don’t let them entrap you. You’ve got better things to do. Answer: Thanks, but I don’t date coworkers.
4. On the “love contracts”, once again, I’d err on the side of caution. It is only a matter of time until they get dragged into the courts.
Max, but I only do kisses until marriage.
Do you refrigerate ice also ?
A love contract is not biding until it's on Jerry Springer.
I should also add that you should not harass coworkers on social media. That's also actionable harassment.
MSM finally noticed JBP. Late to the party.
"He combines the roles of erudite professor, self-help guru and street-fighting scourge of the social-justice warrior: the missing link between Steven Pinker, Dale Carnegie and Gamergate. On Reddit, fans testify that Peterson changed, or even saved, their lives." –Guardian
Have you read the 12 Rules ?
Hello Ben,
Thank you for the article. No I have not read it yet. I will, however. Since it is the Number two most read book on Amazon, it warrants a review here.
I will follow up on Peterson with a lengthier post. Hope you'll enjoy it.
Correction. It is the Number One Best selling book in America right now.
From an Amzn reader's review : "Rule 4: Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today. You need to improve, and you may even be in real bad shape, but many unfairly compare themselves to some more seemingly successful person. Up till around age 17, random comparisons to other people can make sense, but afterwards, especially age 30+, our lives become so idiosyncratic that comparisons with others become meaningless and unhelpful. You only see a slice of their life, a public facet, and are blind to the problems they conceal."
That's something worth pondering. Can you, at age 30, STOP comparing yourself with other people ?
Peterson's book is an eye-opener. A manual for living. Do yourself a favor and read this book.
Than you, Bishop. I think we can all benefit for reading his work.
No offense, pal, I've met my wife of 12 years at work, not in some dive bar. Grain of salt ?
12 years ago, it was a different story. Things have changed rapidly, in fact there's different now then they were just 5 or 3 years ago.
No make up in the workplace. I love it !
High heels in the workplace…can anything be more controversial ?
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