How many friends should you have ?

I have five friends (including two mentors), 30 close-circle relationships (I drop ex-girlfriends like flies)  including family and perhaps as many as 50 other “significant” acquaintances. 5000 enemies and counting (Hello, there !). Question: Should I turn some of these enemies into friends, because I seem to be friend-poor ?

How many friends should you have ?

Lifehacker last March wrote about the concept of Dunbar’s number and Dunbar’s layer.

Accordingly, “humans could likely only maintain social relationships with an average of 148 individuals due to the size of our brain’s neocortex, or what’s known as Dunbar’s Number. More social information processing demands requires more cognitive resources, and we only have so much brain power. Basically, we tend to top out at having 150 meaningful relationships in our lives, whether they’re family, friends, or casual acquaintances. Your Facebook might have hundreds or thousands of “friends,” but a good chunk of them, if not most, are out of mind.” –Lifehacker

So, are you within the 150 number of “meaningful relationships” or way beyond that ? (As you can see, that is not my problem. I seem to be well below it so I am cultivating some powerful enemies).

Suggestion 1: If you are over the number, perhaps you need to speed up your hold-and-drop rate. That’s what I call the time a person stays on the list. As you move on into the world, some people need to be left behind. Some people will have more “staying power” than others.

Suggestion 2: Expand that concept beyond yourself. If you have significant acquaintances who themselves are way over the 150 limit, they’re not managing their friends responsively. More than 5 BFFs at any time is just not a good idea. Clean up on Aisle 2 !

Video: If you’re not following the David Rubenstein Show “Peer-to-Peer conversations” you are missing out. This is the guy I want to interview me. Since this video could not be played back, you’ll need to click on the link.