Fist Fights

Tony Parsons is the celebrated author of best-selling novels Man and Boy, The Open Secret, Man and Wife, Departures, Catching the Sun and others.

He also has a monthly column at GQ Magazine UK. (Are you looking to write a book? His thoughts on it How to write a bestselling book, with Tony Parsons)

But that is not the article I will discuss here. I will discuss Why you should always avoid a fist fight, published in the March 2017 issue of British GQ. I disagree with the title and his content logic needs a revision.

In this article, Parsons walks you through one of his foolish boyhood fist fights, to him witnessing a near-hit with a car while riding with his teenage daughter.

“Hard men – true hard men – always say that violence is never worth the price you have to pay.”

“Violence lasts for almost no time at all but the messy aftermath – to body, to mind, to career – can echo through the years. Violence is always ugly, brutal and senseless.” -Parsons

Yes,

BUT,

“At some point you will not be able to walk away.” All right. Here is one out of 69 pieces of advice, “You should never hit anyone who you are not prepared to keep hitting” √ . He gets a check mark on that.

“Learning to deal with violence is key to being a man.”

I’ll take it from there, from the last piece of useful advice in the article.

1. Since violence is random, preparedness is the key. Parsons knowingly dismisses the usefulness of martial arts training with two arguments: Number 1: You’ll never be at the level of your martial arts teacher and Number 2: That in real violence you’ll not going to be dealing with people you know and like. These are non-arguments. They are worthless. They both put the spotlight on the external.

Any form of combat training is designed to upgrade yourself. Not to compare yourself with your teacher.

2. Who will strike you it’s irrelevant. Of course they won’t be people “you like and know”.

3. Combat sports teach you not to be a coward. To be confident.

4. On the other hand: do not start a fist fight. Don’t do anything for entertainment (well, unless you’re in the ring and are being paid). Do not become entertainment for your girlfriend. Do not become the entertainment for your friends. Do not start a fight to defend your girlfriend’s honor. There is no dishonor in being insulted over anything.

5. Most fights start over stupid things. Most bar arguments are over women. I don’t fight over a woman’s honor.

6. I fight when it’s get hit or be hit. A real fighter knows when he is at that inflection point. Parsons had some collateral damage with him: his rider. He wasn’t provoked. If you fought every rude or dimwitted driver that cuts you off, you’d go crazy.