Wed. July ist, 2020 the WSJ had an article Managing Anger in Angry Times (Elizabeth Bernstein) and we’ll discuss that today.
“Dana Humprey uses a technique she call, the “hand scream”. She covers her mouth with both hands, leans forward and then silently screams, while shaking her hips back and forth. ‘Moving the energy of anger is really important,’ says the life coach from Rockaway Park, N.Y. ‘It allows you to come back with less of a charge and an ability to have a conversation with someone.'”
Elizabeth Bernstein
Georgetown University’s Assistant Professor Jeremy Yip says there are two types of anger: integral anger -directly related to the situation/person involved and incidental anger when “you’re provoked by one thing and lash out at another.” -WSJ
Some people jump on a Peloton bike when they get angry. Or take a walk. Get away from people. Get away from the problem.
You might have heard of the Anger Iceberg. The Anger Iceberg says that other emotions may be hidden beneath the surface. These other feelings—such as sadness, fear, or guilt—might cause a person to feel vulnerable, or they may not have the skills to manage them effectively.
I’ve discussed CBT methods before and recommended these books, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Made Simple: 10 Strategies for Managing Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Panic, and Worry and Retrain Your Brain: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 7 Weeks: A Workbook for Managing Depression and Anxiety by Seth G. Gilihan Ph.D. so we’re not going to do it again. CBT is useful.
Ultimately, mindfulness helps.
I am one of few in the world who points out the harsher reality. People are going to dissapoint you. They are going to betray you. You are going to be left down. You don’t always reap the rewards according to what you seeded.
Regardless, you must keep on going.
Here are some ways folk are dealing with annoying or dissapointing situations:
- Imagine that whatever happened happened to someone else. Call him Bill/Sarah or call them by their real name as in your neighbor down the street. So it is him, not you, that got into that particular situation or outcome. You’ll feel less anger since you’ve detached yourself from it.
- If you have haters, just remember me. Yes, me. ‘Cause I got many more of those…
3. The more non-PC you are, the more roadblocks people are going to build in your way.
4. Ultimately, people don’t care about you. This realization comes to us all with age and experience. If you get anything from this blog, 380+ articles and all, is that you should not live your life accoding to other people’s expectations.
In my book, the Book of the Underdog, I’ve written that anger is good. It’s authentic. It’s destructive only when it’s not released. Release it strategically. Don’t let it build up inside you. That’s what they want. Don’t give them that satisfaction.
Until next time,
-Max
Don’t forget: Business owners, entrepreneurs and leaders can now “pick my brain” over a confidential, one-on-one phone call. This is the first time ever that I’ve done anything like this. This will not last through the summer. Now it’s your time. If you’re not moving forward, you are taking steps back…