Ever wonder why older married men envy the younger bachelors ? A young untied man is the envy of the married man (with or without kids), never the other way around.

Are you divorced or have you ever been divorced ? Then you know the surge of energy, initiative and well-being you found after the break up. (if you made it a complete breakup and not a long drawn affair, which can be very draining). If you’re a man chances are you didn’t initiate the divorce, she did, and if that caught you by surprise, it’s your fault.

The modern marriage model relies on monogamy and long-term cohabitation. Both are corroding to q man’s well-being and health, and explain divorces. The only reason divorce rates are not higher than they are -they should be 200% higher -is because of the dire financial consequences of divorce., the shaming and family pressures that keep together people who no longer wish to be together.

Did you know ?

Monogamy has been around for only the last 1000 years [citing Kit Opie, an evolutionary anthropologist from University College London. ] Monogamy is the prime directive of the societal conditioning and has allowed for the spread of the population.

Monogamy is an enforced unwritten social contract that creates such phenomena like cheating, family crime and so forth.

What are the alternatives ?

Marriage is a favor men do for women. Women would marry a lamp post if they didn’t have a man. How do the smartest people in the world -some of whom work on Wall Street – deal with it ? Why is it they still married after 10 or 20 years ? Well, I know some of their secrets. And so do you. These are the two secrets to a long, happy marriage.

Never monogamy.

Your *unwritten* contract with your wife should be that you’re allowed to have other partners, even if you don’t bring them to your bedroom. And so should her. That’s the basic, truthful recognition of your nature as an actualized, successful man. If she doesn’t tacitly agree with it you’ve married the wrong woman. If you have any money or earn a high income, Pre-nup and all of that good stuff come without saying. With your *flings* you should be using a Non-Disclosure Agreement that not only establishes consent but has clear penalties, as in punitive penalties, if a breach or threaten breach should occur. I list punitive damages of $250,000. Since a lot of women sleep with men to derive fame, publicity, money or just as a blackmail tool, take the steps to make no guarantees as to your fame -enabling, explicitly disavowing any claim to fame or money. This way she can’t come after you with neither “he told me he was famous” nor “I expected this and that from having sex with him” bullshit. Let me read you something: “The Male Party makes no guarantees or promises of any kind as far as his performance, after-effects, post-encounter availability, benefits or implications, of any sexual encounter to the Participating Party or Parties. The Male Party makes no warranties of any status, symbol, standing or provenance of any sorts.” I suggest you consult a lawyer to draw you a NDA for Intimate Contacts.

Now , if you’re using a prostitute, the contract is the money you’re paying, but still be John Q. Anonymous. Let’s say years later a prostitute recognizes you -and you’re famous – and wants to come forward to say she’s had sex with you to cause you a public relations disaster. No NDA. Deny. It’s your word against hers.

Successful married people DON’T cohabit with their wives.

You don’t have to be rich or own three houses. Just don’t live with your wife. Room-mating is a drag on attraction. Sleep in your own bed, in your own apartment. You may not see your wife every day. And that’s Ok. She should look forward every day she can spend a minute with you. That’s a happy wife.

May you live long and prosper !

He also has a monthly column at GQ Magazine UK. (Are you looking to write a book? His thoughts on it How to write a bestselling book, with Tony Parsons)

But that is not the article I will discuss here. I will discuss Why you should always avoid a fist fight, published in the March 2017 issue of British GQ. I disagree with the title and his content logic needs a revision.

In this article, Parsons walks you through one of his foolish boyhood fist fights, to him witnessing a near-hit with a car while riding with his teenage daughter.

“Hard men – true hard men – always say that violence is never worth the price you have to pay.”

“Violence lasts for almost no time at all but the messy aftermath – to body, to mind, to career – can echo through the years. Violence is always ugly, brutal and senseless.” -Parsons

Yes,

BUT,

“At some point you will not be able to walk away.” All right. Here is one out of 69 pieces of advice, “You should never hit anyone who you are not prepared to keep hitting” √ . He gets a check mark on that.

“Learning to deal with violence is key to being a man.”

I’ll take it from there, from the last piece of useful advice in the article.

1. Since violence is random, preparedness is the key. Parsons knowingly dismisses the usefulness of martial arts training with two arguments: Number 1: You’ll never be at the level of your martial arts teacher and Number 2: That in real violence you’ll not going to be dealing with people you know and like. These are non-arguments. They are worthless. They both put the spotlight on the external.

Any form of combat training is designed to upgrade yourself. Not to compare yourself with your teacher.

2. Who will strike you it’s irrelevant. Of course they won’t be people “you like and know”.

3. Combat sports teach you not to be a coward. To be confident.

4. On the other hand: do not start a fist fight. Don’t do anything for entertainment (well, unless you’re in the ring and are being paid). Do not become entertainment for your girlfriend. Do not become the entertainment for your friends. Do not start a fight to defend your girlfriend’s honor. There is no dishonor in being insulted over anything.

5. Most fights start over stupid things. Most bar arguments are over women. I don’t fight over a woman’s honor.

6. I fight when it’s get hit or be hit. A real fighter knows when he is at that inflection point. Parsons had some collateral damage with him: his rider. He wasn’t provoked. If you fought every rude or dimwitted driver that cuts you off, you’d go crazy.

Yesterday Elon Musk taunted the SEC calling it “Shortsellers Enrichment Commission”.

Today, David Einhorn of Greenlight Capital “Like Lehman, we think the deception is about to catch up to TSLA,” Einhorn said in an investor letter Friday. “Lehman threatened short sellers, refused to raise capital (it even bought back stock), and management publicly suggested it would go private. Months later, shareholders, creditors, employees and the global economy paid a big price when management’s reckless behavior led to bankruptcy.” -via CNBC

Tesla shared dropped 7% thanks to Musk’s tweets.

What are your thoughts? 

-Tom

Tom, I don’t know about the future of Tesla (full disclosure: I don’t hold any positions in that company).

I can tell, however, beta male behavior. Beta male behavior is unsettling and, sometimes hidden in what appears to be aggressive, alpha-like stance. It is quite obvious Mr. Musk hasn’t read this blog or else he wouldn’t be writing those tweets.

#Number 1. Twitter is not the place to address critics, ongoing legal issues and such.

#Number 2. Twitter is not the place to impress your girlfriend. In fact, only beta males work hard at impressing their girlfriends. A high value male is a constant target of women’s manipulation. Their hypergamy instincts shoot through the roof especially especially if the target is a public figure. I don’t know if you went through this blog yet, but we hold dear here the model of Christopher Walken. He’s composed at all times, even when he is theatrical. He is an what I call a “class act.”

#Number 3. If the shorts are bothering him, at least don’t show it. Or show it with humor, i.e. post a picture of dirty shorts or something.

Quote of the day: “Often I have found that liars do this: they watch their dupes closely, searching for the moment when belief sets in.” -Hadrian Marlowe in Empire of Silence by Christopher Ruocchio

#Number 4. At the end of this year, we will be having a “contest” of who’s the world worst beta male of this year. Last year we had “Who are the world’s worst villains.” (Littlefinger of the Game of Thrones won that one). So last year we pulled from both real life and fiction. We”ll see what we do this year if we just stick with real life characters.

Thanks for writing.

Tips for the wise and free:

1. Sam Harris releases recently a meditation app structured as a course. It already received great reviews.

2. A behemoth book called Interview with the Masters, A company to Mastery by Robert Greene, released in 2013, is free on Amazon. You may wish to get that one.

So what does it mean to be “alpha”? Let’s start with what it is NOT in the first two pointers below.

1. People that want to “Save the World”. Saving the world is one of the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. People that say or believe that are idiots. The world needs no saving. The world was here before you. The world will be here in some shape or form after you’re gone. The World doesn’t care about you. Stop saying that PC non-sense.

2. People that want to “change the world.” The world will not change, no matter how much you puke out your guts. Your boss will not change. Stop wasting your energy. Stop trying to be Batman or Superman. Want a better way ?

3. Change yourself-that’s the better way.  A lot of my readers are into daily mantras. Instead of reciting the Scorpion King in Sanskrit or Egyptian, here’s better one:

“Never in a Hurry,

Never Worried,

Never Desperate,

Never Stopping Short”

This comes from Ryan Holiday, The Ego is the Enemy. The four line, 10 word mantra works wonders. In fact, stoicism provides many more maxims that go well. I’ve seen a repository of over 600 of them, but I’ll need to curate them and select post them. If anyone’s got some time and wants to work with me on that over the weekend, let me know.

4. Stop playing Captain Save-a-Hoe. Beta males always come to the rescue of women. Alpha males don’t. A woman, like a cat, lands on her feet even when thrown out of the 7th floor balcony. [Ok, that’s a figure of speech, but you get the draft]. White knights are weak, pathetic.

“Captain Save A Hoe often waste time on these hoes in an attempt at love, even though the whole block done run through her. Captain Save A Hoe often end up in the friendzone, if they do a good enough job.”-Hipwiki

5. Couple of years ago, somebody posted a picture of a pack of wolves asserting the “peck order” of the pack. A photo showed 25 wolves walking in a single file line through a snow-covered wilderness with this explanation:

“A wolf pack: the first 3 are the old or sick, they give the pace to the entire pack. If it was the other way round, they would be left behind, losing contact with the pack. In case of an ambush they would be sacrificed. Then come 5 strong ones, the front line. In the center are the rest of the pack members, then the 5 strongest following. Last is alone, the alpha. He controls everything from the rear. In that position he can see everything, decide the direction. He sees all of the pack. The pack moves according to the elders pace and help each other, watch each other.” photo: Cesare Brai’s .

That picture “explanation” (the alpha last in line) in in fact, false. You can read about it these archives at Snopes. The alpha in the wolf pack is the most protected one. He stays in the middle, not in flanks, any surprise attack won’t fall on him. The pack protects the alpha, not the other way around, Surprisingly and contrary to what you’ve been told all your life, the alpha doesn’t protect the pack. The alpha is simply the most valuable member, so it’s the job of the females, the younglings, and the elders to protect him from harm.

6. Women should only be a secondary interest in man’s life. They’re just not that important. They really aren’t. “The most attractive combination of psychological traits in a man are narcissism and happiness. While betas exist to serve women, women exist to serve alphas. Sometimes this dynamic is subtle; other times women will explicitly enjoy being or feeling used up by their alpha male partners. Treat her a little bit like she exists to serve you to establish the desired alpha-to-female relationship pattern.” -Redpill user on Reddit

7. A common problem with guys who don’t have imposing or statuesque physiques: “I’m 5’6″ and weight 130, I wear glasses and spend 60 hours a week on the computer, how can I leverage myself ?”

“Suffering is the coin of the realm.” -Pinhead (Hellraiser: Bloodline movie, 1996) -is your answer

It is a misconception an alpha male needs to be some James Bond  lookalike who runs ultra marathons every month. There’s no denying looks help. Yet they don’t define the man. You work with what you have.  What is important is to improve and gain a sense of self esteem from doing it.

8. Being alpha in the end means evolving. Accomplished people subdue the world through presence and statesmanship. There is less need for demonstrations of value. When you look at someone like Stephen Schwartzman  you see an alpha male who is seasoned. With seasoned alphas,

-it’s not the argument, they subdue the atmosphere in the room
-they don’t raise the voice or over-explain themselves
-don’t flinch when questioned
-they retain a sense of control even when downplayed or alienated

Michael Milken is another alpha. He is probably the most intense person I have ever seen. These are people over 70 years of age who have an alpha qualifier or A+++.

Donald Trump, on the other hand, is the type of alpha male who has never evolved and is stuck in the 30 year-old phase. The only game DT understands is the zero sum game. That’s why DT is incapable of rising to the stature of his office (to learn about his tricks, click here).

“A man who always defends his position is already weak.”- Max Cantor maxim #51

9. There’s a lot of material on the basics of dating, you can  check out this one out from John Alexander How to Become an Alpha Male .

In conclusion, I’ve selected a few stoic maxims from Github to keep good company (they’re from Marcus Aurelius, Epitectus or Seneca):

“Above all, make this your business: learn how to feel joy.”

“Does the captain of a ship manage it better by not attending?”

“Every day I plead the case against myself as judge.”

“The willing are led by fate, the reluctant dragged. “

“Will your fate.”

“Just as it is not the last drop that stops the water-clock but every drop that has previously fallen, so the last hour when we cease to exist is not the only one to cause death but the only one to complete it: we reach death then but we have been coming to it for a long time.”

“What else are tragedies but the ordeals of people who have come to value externals, tricked out in tragic verse?”

“For what does reason purport to do? “Establish what is true, eliminate what is false and suspend judgement in doubtful cases.” What else does reason prescribe? “To accept the consequence of what has been admitted to be correct.”

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

“”Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.”

“Sickness harms the body, not the will. Say this to yourself with regard to everything that happens.”

“Remember that you must behave as at a banquet. Is anything brought round to you? Put out your hand and take a moderate share. Does it pass by you? Do not stop it. Has it not yet come? Wait till it reaches you.”

“Do you feel no shame in delivering up your own mind to any reviler, to be confounded.”

“Perfect beings have no power to do harm.”


“No sane man fears the gods.

The immortal gods are neither willing nor able to harm us.”


“Thou wilt find that whatever happens takes place justly, and as if done by some one who distributes all things according to desert.”

“This is education, to learn to wish that things should happen as they do.”

“Women are a bad joke God made on men”.

“Thrasea used to say, ‘He who hates vice hates mankind.”

“The noblest virtue is not fostered by incense and garlands, but by sweat and blood.”

“Thrasea used to say that we should take the side not only of our friends, but of the friendless.”

“Animals who lack reason should be treated nobly and magnanimously.”

“He who spares the bad wrongs the good.”

Fun task: I hid a maxim that doesn’t belong in the list. Will you find it ?

For good measure, let’s a video: