“The number of MBA-dedicated yachts expanded from 12 in 2019 to 95 in 2021, according to Day 8. These year there were 42 M.B.A. boats carrying roughly 500 people, according to the company. HBS students alone booked 28 yachts that took part in the festivities, up from 20 in 2021. Photos posted on Instagram last month showed some Yacht Week attendees in matching white hats with the HBS crest and a sailboat. Students from Stanford’s Graduate School of Business and Tuck came aboard, too, according to Day 8.”

WSJ

I won’t bother you with more details of these libations since most of us are more concerned with the price of meat going up by 9% this year but remember: these are your future leaders.

They ask that you don’t call them “fats cats”. “Slurpy cats” ?

To the futures Chairmen and Chairwomen of Goldman Sachs, I will tip my hat ! And get that venture capital money for your app-for-hangovers ready, people !

Until next time,

Your Man,

Max Cantor

The WSJ this weekend touched on these numbers: Pandemic Pet Boom has legs.

Spending on pets grew 19.3% to $123 Billion last year, a much faster pace than the 7.3% growth seen in 2019.

And the trend could be inflation-proof: Early indications show that people might be more inclined to trade down on their own food than their pets’ kibble.

WSJ, Jimjoo Lee

“While the pet category is still a growing pie, the fight for those dollars is as fierce as ever. Both Petco and Chewy are making investments in healthcare as a way to boost their dollar share with customers. Petco is remodeling stores to expand the footprint of hands-on services such as vet care and grooming. Chewy, which already runs a pharmacy business, recently announced it will launch a wellness and insurance business. Petco is expecting to increase its capital expenses by 25% this fiscal year, while Chewy is aiming to spend 40% more. BarkBox, which started by selling a monthly dog-toy subscription, is adding food and dental like pet toothpaste to its assortment to make its client base stickier.”

WSJ

Women have the greatest power and hold the highest ranks in government and business, yet every day they cry how they’re being oppressed by the white male. They’re 60% of college graduates and the majority in the workforce, yet they say that’s not enough. It is never enough.

Give us the world, and we will call you our “equals”.

It is a misconception that Wall Street ranks are some tough guys living it large with high expense accounts and playboy habits. 90% of the people who work or have worked on Wall Street in the last decade or two are herbs with no balls and no life, computer geeks and run-of-the-mill VBA coders programmed to worship women like the rest of us. I know, I’ve worked with them. A waiter working at your average restaurant has more personality than them. They probably have only one girlfriend who has carefully screened their wallet and to whom they will get married to. They probably have a dog or two of those rat-like Scottish terriers or something. And they probably have a woman boss.

That’s love in the age of Corona. Or Cholera, whatever.

Frankly, I understand. If you don’t go with the program, they’ll spit you out. The Matrix doesn’t take any prisoners. You’re easily replaceable. You have to live in a female-dominated world. You are one and they are hundreds of millions, billions of tiny little packed bits of the Matrix. You’re living in the Matrix.

Ok, now that we know we are not referring to the novel Covid-19 virus, but to the female-centric society, you should acknowledge, and be proud of your dependency to women’s greatness. Bow to the magical feminine power.

Herb lines

“I am a feminist.”

If you tell that to a girl you met, you’ve set the record straight. You don’t wanna be second-guessed.

“I practice social-distancing.”

I heard that phase as a recommendation to preventing this virus, but I would extend it and use it as a valid introduction in any social interactions, way after the Coronavirus epidemic stops being an issue.

When you see some girls talking and giggling among themselves, go up to them and say:

“What are you guys talking about ? Is it Beyonce ? Tell me it is about Beyonce.”

I once started talking to a girl and told her: ” I vote to make prostitution legal.” She wasn’t too happy to hear that one out, so I explained myself: “With prostitution legal, there’ll be fewer abortions. Life begins in the fetus.” She left with a headache.

Another herb line: “If an orgasm falls onto deaf ears, is it still happening ?”

And another one: “I feed my (female) dog vegetable chicken breasts. What do you guys think, will she be growing breasts ?

If you have a male dog, ask the girl:

“My dog is only humping other male dogs in the park. Do you think he is gay ?” If she says “Probably” say, “So happy !”

When you introduce yourself, sometimes it pays to just introduce yourself by the Zodiac sign. Say: “I’m a Sagittarius.”

Consider wearing a white suit when you go to a club. You’ll stand out. If they ask about it, just say : “White Party.”

Even on the golf course where he generally is in a good mood, if he loses he likes to blame it me. “If you had your priorities straight…I lost my spine angle because you’re terrible!” How do I deal with him short of handing my resignation ?

Answer: You have an easy job. Imagine you had the job of reporting Donald’s holding positions to him. Reports say Donald’s worth 3.74 Bn as of 2016 but he says is $10 Bn. “Snappy and controlling”, if I had a dime every time I heard that…First, please note I’m not going to write you on how to be indispensable for your position or title or on how to deal with demanding bosses. Most if not all bosses are demanding. I can make some suggestions if you think you are being bullied. Also, I will not lecture office politics in this post. You should already have a handling on that. If you haven’t established some sort of bonding with your boss outside of work, you should do that too. Women bosses can be just as nasty as this male boss, if not even worse.

1. Rearrange the setting or office environment if you can. Rearrange the furniture, maybe the room where you are having these interactions. Or next time you see him make it in a different office, not his, not yours. Bullying works on predictability. Familiarity breeds contempt.

2. If you are driving with him somewhere, slam on the brakes. If you’re at a business lunch, lunge forward into his space. You can go into a frenzy saying stuff like “They’re trying to poison me with a kilo of salt in these veggies” or “They distilled pee into this wine”. At one point, your boss might try to calm you down, seeing that you’re out of character. You need to thank him for saving your day.

3. Take your boss out on a hunting trip. Once there, leave him without a rifle and any help for five hours. Life is brutal and that is an unknown experience to powerful people. Power comes from having power over people. At the end of the day say you lost him. He will get mad but he may see you helpful. A hunting trip can be substituted for anything that is not a carefully scripted experience.

“Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite ?” (from the movie, above)

“Boss, do you like slumming ?”

“Boss. why did the turkey cross the road ? A: To prove it’s no chicken”,

“How many Donald Trump supporters does it take to change a light bulb?

Look, we can change the light bulb. That I will tell you. We’re changing it, ok? And I understand what you’re saying, I hear it all the time. People call me and say “Is the light bulb really dead?”. That’s what they are asking me, its unbelievable. The light bulb is in big trouble, that I can tell you. But we are going to change it.” Laffgaff

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