Max,

My name is Anil, I am 30ish and I am so lucky to have found your blog. I’m pretty sure you’re one of the very few writers out there that tackles men being the target of harassment by women. Nobody else talks about it.

I work in the Marketing department of my company, a large tech player in the semiconductors industry. My boss, Heather, is good looker, she looks like Pamela Anderson, and at 48 she’s in great shape. She goes to the same gym I do, two miles from my work. This is what happened last week. She had two tickets to a Dodgers game and knowing that I’m a fan she invited me. should give you some background here: I am happily married for 5 years with no kids and Heather is also married (to Tom).

So we’ve met up after work and she decided to drive me up in her car. I was already tired after a long days work, and my wife was already home waiting for me. My wife, Sylvia, calls me. “I go: ‘Honey, I’ll be late tonight. Heather is taking me to the ball game.'” 30 minutes into the game, Heather started drinking and started rubbing my thighs. Then she started rubbing my penis. All the time she was keeping looking ahead. I was so embarrassed ! At half time I walked up and she came after me, trying to do it again ! Can you believe it ? I said: “What it wrong with you ? Are you insane ? She was giggling and laughing ! The problem is I know Tom, her husband, who is a nice man, and a good husband !

At the end of the game I left quickly and did not want to go into the car with her. She is an embarrassment to herself and her family. Next day at work it was as if nothing ever happened !

What do I do now ? Should I tel my wife ? My wife and I have an agreement where we don’t hold anything back from each other. Was this sexual harassment ? Should I report her to HR ? This is crazier than The Game of Thrones.

-Anil

Anil,

Thanks for writing. Taking any action against your boss might backfire. Since this happened outside the workplace, I don’t know if it is sexual harassment. I would consult a lawyer that knows labor laws. I realize that sexual harassment against men is a huge issue that is hardly reported.
And since you mentioned Game of Thrones, here’s a short video with quotes from the earlier seasons of the series.

Everybody else is asking what do I read currently: here are two books I can’t keep down: