“Dana Humprey uses a technique she call, the “hand scream”. She covers her mouth with both hands, leans forward and then silently screams, while shaking her hips back and forth. ‘Moving the energy of anger is really important,’ says the life coach from Rockaway Park, N.Y. ‘It allows you to come back with less of a charge and an ability to have a conversation with someone.'”

Elizabeth Bernstein

Georgetown University’s Assistant Professor Jeremy Yip says there are two types of anger: integral anger -directly related to the situation/person involved and incidental anger when “you’re provoked by one thing and lash out at another.” -WSJ

Some people jump on a Peloton bike when they get angry. Or take a walk. Get away from people. Get away from the problem.

You might have heard of the Anger Iceberg. The Anger Iceberg says that other emotions may be hidden beneath the surface. These other feelings—such as sadness, fear, or guilt—might cause a person to feel vulnerable, or they may not have the skills to manage them effectively.

I’ve discussed CBT methods before and recommended these books, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Made Simple: 10 Strategies for Managing Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Panic, and Worry and Retrain Your Brain: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 7 Weeks: A Workbook for Managing Depression and Anxiety by Seth G. Gilihan Ph.D. so we’re not going to do it again. CBT is useful.

Ultimately, mindfulness helps.

I am one of few in the world who points out the harsher reality. People are going to dissapoint you. They are going to betray you. You are going to be left down. You don’t always reap the rewards according to what you seeded.

Regardless, you must keep on going.

Here are some ways folk are dealing with annoying or dissapointing situations:

1. Imagine that whatever happened happened to someone else. Call him Bill/Sarah or call them by their real name as in your neighbor down the street. So it is him, not you, that got into that particular situation or outcome. You’ll feel less anger since you’ve detached yourself from it.
2. If you have haters, just remember me. Yes, me. ‘Cause I got many more of those…

3. The more non-PC you are, the more roadblocks people are going to build in your way.

4. Ultimately, people don’t care about you. This realization comes to us all with age and experience. If you get anything from this blog, 380+ articles and all, is that you should not live your life accoding to other people’s expectations.

In my book, the Book of the Underdog, I’ve written that anger is good. It’s authentic. It’s destructive only when it’s not released. Release it strategically. Don’t let it build up inside you. That’s what they want. Don’t give them that satisfaction.

Until next time,

-Max

Don’t forget: Business owners, entrepreneurs and leaders can now “pick my brain” over a confidential, one-on-one phone call. This is the first time ever that I’ve done anything like this. This will not last through the summer. Now it’s your time. If you’re not moving forward, you are taking steps back…

Max Cantor: It is. It is the third in two-and-a-half years (2016, and 2017, here). Thanks for doing it on Friday the 13th.

Interviewer: I can’t believe it is Friday already. When I talked to you earlier today, you said you had an announcement to make. I just hope it isn’t about Yoda.

Max: Why not ? You brought up Master Yoda, and I’m happy to talk about him.

Interviewer: Really ? Is that your announcement today ?

Max: No, but you’ve brought him up, it’s the aperitif in your interviews. So Yoda came to me.

Interviewer: He did ? How ? He came to you into your dreams or on a spaceship ? What are you saying ?

Max: He came to me in a vision. And told me about a great secret, called “Sitting In a Tight Bush“.

Interviewer: Ok. Can you elaborate ? I’m sure your readers want to know everything about it, even if it involves drinking 4 oz. of dry scotch.

Max: This is a technique Master Yoda uses, every morning. He goes out, finds a bush, then sits there with his eyes closed until he has the vision of him sitting in a tight bush.

Interviewer: I see. And that takes a lot of imagination.

Max: He told me that’s his technique. Now, when he goes to sleep he’ll have the same dream, “Sitting in a Tight Bush“.

Interviewer: Marvelous. You can paint the sky blue with that. What else would you like to tell your readers today ?

Max: Thanks all for being a loyal reader ! What you’re reading is the best, no holds-barred, personal power blog in the world. There’s nothing out there that comes even close. And watch out for a dangerous animal called the Silicon Valley mongoose. Let’s watch this video together:

A “black mamba snake can kill 15 men with just one bite”. The black mamba is considered the world’s deadliest snake. Pretty impressive. However, the mongoose is far worse.

Let’s learn about mongoose life: ” Male mongooses living with a group of banded females will form their own hierarchy in which only one or two of them are allowed to mate. One male will father around 80 percent of the pups in the entire group. Sometimes, when too many females populate a group, older females will begin to try to drive the younger ones out of the group. This is common when more than eight females occupy a group. Even already pregnant, some younger females will be sent packing. Sometimes they may be readmitted to the group. Other times, they may join other groups with subordinate males.” -From Animals Mom.Me

The mongoose share characteristics with their Silicon Valley breed, like male child-rearing. The Silicon Valley mongoose, or elitist, is one of the beasts you need to be aware of, if you’re working for one.

Interviewer: Fascinating.

Max: Yep. Silicon Valley is a mongoose-breeding place. Greed is king. People continue to associate Wall Street with greed without realizing Wall Street is heavily regulated, banking in general is. Meanwhile the mongooses of Silicon Valley make out like the robber barons that they are. Of course, they don’t call themselves mongooses. They call themselves entrepreneurs, philanthropreneurs, visionaries.

Interviewer: Watch out for those, people.

Max: Right. The elites don’t come from the left, or the right. They come from the “right place”: right pedigree, right factory, right production line. To me, that’s a red flag.

Interviewer: But you’ve come to bring balance to the force. Isn’t that what you’re doing, Max ?

Max: What I’m doing is giving a fighting chance to the little guy. I make warriors out of the undeserved, the under-appreciated, the out-of-favor, the outcast, the rejected.

Interviewer: And you’re writing a book for them you told me.

Max: I am. It will be ready this summer. But we need to be cautious. Let me give you here these two paragraphs-added one more from book (I reserve the right to edit).

Overused and abused self-help advice

“The self-help bookshelf is full of people writing repetitive and overused lines. Perhaps the most overused advice is “Word hard, and you’ll make it.” (A variant, from decades ago is “Work hard. Study. And stay out of politics”, as told by James A. Baker III, former White House Chief of Staff, 1992-1993, in a recent interview with David Rubenstein). Now, this is not bad advice. We can’t simply discount it. You need to work hard to get what you want. The dynamics of the marketplace, however, doesn’t hold “working hard” enough anymore. People work hard, apply themselves, yet find their efforts falling flat. Working hard, studying hard, or working smart need to be integrated with a social-dynamic competence and dominance. There simply isn’t enough room at the top for most who work hard and smart.

There are of course, many more clichés: “Believe in Yourself”, “Live in the Moment”, “Forget about style, worry about results” (Bobby Orr’s), “Live Daringly! Give Boldly ! Leave Love Everywhere You’ve Been !” (D.J. Johnson), etc.”

The Danger of Information Falling Into the Wrong Hands

“When you have this spellbound material I put together, it begs the question: What if it falls into the wrong hands ? What if the Harvard-types, already gorged in profits and power, are going to read it ? They’re the boss, they got the goods, they’re the king, you’re the pawn. Are you gonna get pounded, again ? This handbook could turn a Goliath into a Goliath on steroids. Look, there’s no way I can prevent the haves from getting their hands on it. Yes, if they apply it, their game is going to go through the roof. They’ll get bigger. They’ll expand. They’ll build empires adding to the ones they already have. But at least you get a fighting chance. At least the underdog gets to fight another day. You may come up against a stronger enemy, but when they hit you, you’ll that more likely to survive. You’ll be more offensive and less defensive. In the large scheme of things, it doesn’t matter where you are now. What matters most is where you’re heading. It’s likely the rich and powerful already know, apply and use most of the knowledge in this book. Some knowledge comes from multiple sources that are not necessary under lock or key. Some knowledge comes from some backdoor I found. Some is personal. The elites are the masters at deception. They brainwashed you from early on. Their promo codes evade detection. I give you a fighting chance you didn’t have. I am leveling the playing field.”

Interviewer: Max, I got to say this: It sounds epic.

Max: It is. Watch out for my announcement coming up in the next few weeks.

Interviewer: Sure thing.

Max: I’ll wrap up with a Hamilton (Act One) quote, since you started it:

“Hey yo, I’m just like my country / I’m young, scrappy and hungry / And I’m not throwing away my shot!” -My Shot